guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
