Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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