Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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