it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
