those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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