somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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