My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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