and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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