I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
