Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
