It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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