is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
