I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
