He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
