btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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