Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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