and you said cock pushups were impossible
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
