Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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