Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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