If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
