yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
