If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
