Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
