he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
