im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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