accomplished twins. life is a go
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
