I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
