wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
