Small penises have feelings too.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
