hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
