woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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