Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he thought i was a dude.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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