Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
