you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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