she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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