Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
