Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
