she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is wine microwaveable?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
