I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
