i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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