i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
