he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
