I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
