Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
