I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
