It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
