And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
