i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
