I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
