Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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