If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
