That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm too high and old for this...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
