im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
