at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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